kellys - Artwork of a Submissive
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The Artwork of a Submissive - by kellys
This is the story of my life's journey into realm of bodyart, sensuality, and
submission. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have.
I don't know why, but I do know when I experienced my first erotic feelings. I was watching a TV program on an ancient Chinese emperor who had his wife and servants buried alive with him. I was absolutely fascinated with the fact that his wife had known since her marriage that this would be her fate, but she accepted it. It made me feel excited and different than I had ever felt to imagine myself in her place. Throughout my childhood, I tried to reproduce that initial feeling with what I now recognize as various self-bondage experiments. When I had matured sexually, this was already a deeply ingrained part of my psyche.
After my first sexual encounter, I realized that it was not the act of bondage that really excited me, but the acceptance of submission to a lover. I had already discovered masturbation and orgasm far before having sex, and the fact that I didn't climax during my first sexual experiences did not bother me. I was much happier that I could please my partner instead.
Not far long after that, my old desires re-awakened, and brought new forms to life. I had already become fascinated with many aspects of ancient and tribal cultures, and the most obvious modern remnant of these was the art of tattoo. I had already seen many people with great tattoos, and even almost full body coverage on Ripley's Believe it Or Not! I thought the idea of having permanent decoration was both exciting and beautiful. So when I was only 16, I managed to convince an artist who my boyfriend knew to give me a tattoo.
He showed me all sort of designs and schools of tattoo in his portfolio, but I was most attracted to the tribal type designs, and decided on a small tribal piece on my low my back, that could be hidden under a bathing suit. I was aware that this could be a little uncomfortable, so I had it done in three short sessions. I was quite happy with the results, and it made me feel really special and exotic to have it. Looking back on it now, it was actually quite a small piece, but a large step to take, and I plunged head first into a new world.
My first serious boyfriend was not into this "scene", and although he was a bit interested in it, he just didn't get it, and was too conservative. I pushed farther out into the realm of art and sculpture, designing my own tattoo work, some of which I would apply later, as well as realizing myself as a creative person. I was quite glad to leave the jock/cheerleader scene behind and move on to people who would accept me for who I was and respect my talents instead of my conformity.
It was when I was in college that I really blossomed. I had never been around so many liberal and free people in my life. Free from the restrictions of a small town, I explored art, culture, and of course, sex. I went to a fetish party, and that pretty much changed a lot of things for me. I couldn't believe that people were all dressed and acting the way that they wanted to. I had never really seen latex dresses, body piercing, ornate tattoos, or people wearing corsets before. At least in real life. It set my mind adrift.
Pretty soon, I had several friends in the scene, and within a week, I had my first piercing - a nose ring, with a navel ring soon to follow. I got my original tattoo embellished with more work as well. Since I was now free of parental restrictions, I decided to dress the way I wanted, and got my first real pair of high heels and some leather pants and skirts, since I like the way it feels to be looked at and admired as sexy.
It wasn't much longer until I was sexually active again, and it was wonderful to be with people that appreciated the same beauty and freedom. I became more involved in the scene and found the sexual aspect of it a great way to express my submissive desires. I had my first bisexual experience not long after that, and discovered that I liked the idea of submitting to a woman just as well as men. It was obvious what my next piece of bodyart should be - a tongue ring. This was quite effective, and soon my oral skills and my willingness to demonstrate them got me a little reputation as gifted sub (I suppose not quite a true sub yet, but getting there).
At this point, I was discovered by Marco and Julie, a couple who were heavily into the fetish scene. They offered to take me on as their pet, and to give me some training. This actually sounded like quite a great idea to me; as much as I liked the openness of free sex with a lot of people, I didn't want the risk factors to deal with, and would prefer closer intimacy with a smaller group. I think Marco realized that I was quite a vulnerable member of the community, and that him and Julie could shelter me from the unknowns while giving me what I really craved. They told be that I would be free to stop at any time, and that I could decide my own limits, but we would all decide together what work I should have done.
Julie took to training me right away; she had me save up money for a custom built corset, started me on a diet, exercise, and waist training program. Marco is an engineer, and he built some foot benders to help train my feet for wearing extremely high heels. I was quite happy with both ideas; when I finally got my first corset, Julie laced me up and showed me off in a full length mirror. I was quite amazed at how sexy it made me feel. She had me try on some heels and stockings to heighten the effect. I loved the way the corset pulls in and forces your upper body into a supported posture, while your butt is free to sway in a slinky fashion. It made me feel so hot and so submissive that I spent the whole afternoon pleasuring Julie, giving her massages, licking her pussy, long passionate kissing - until Marco came home and we had an amazing threesome together.
It wasn't much longer until we all decided that I should get some more mods; Julie suggested some tribal work spiraling from my shoulders to my upper arms, and Marco suggested some nipple piercings so that we could begin stretching them after the piercings had healed. In the meantime, I kept working on my foot and waist training; I reduced my waist to 24" and got my heels up to 5" at all times. I wore my corset all the time, except for in the shower and during exercise. My old wardrobe was slowly being replaced piece by piece with sexier pieces, and I was looking sexier all the time. Which gave me an idea - what if I got a tattoo of a corset, or at least the lacing, done on my back. Then I would never have to remove my corset. I worked on some concepts, but nothing really fit in with the current tribal work that I have, so I'll revisit it again someday.
I was quite amazed by the amazing intimacy I was feeling now. We were training my body in many sexy ways, reducing my waist size, eventually decreasing the reach of my ankle tendons so that I could only wear high heels, adding new piercings and tattoos - I never felt so sexy in my life. Marco began training me for anal sex as well, so that I would be comfortable taking his penis in my ass. The three of us slept together in the same bed, and it seemed like someone was always in the mood for doing something. During this time, I learned to be content with just receiving cuddling and affection, spending most of my sexual time totally focused on their pleasure. I used to masturbate quite regularly, or occasionally get off during sex when one of them decided to take extra time to please me, but as I became more and more submissive, I found this need decreasing over time.
This whole process had taken about half a year, and we all realized that we were ready to move on to something new. Marco was interested in having me get a hood piercing or a Christina so that I could get more stimulation and cum more often. I had a slightly different idea. I realized that I enjoyed cumming less often and found the frustration of it intoxicating. I was staying more aroused as a result, and was happier and better at pleasuring Marco and Julie. I brought up the idea with them, and we settled on the idea of having some kind of clit shield made for me. At this point, we were so committed to each other and to this lifestyle that we knew we were going to be together long term.
At first, we thought it could be made to go underneath my clit hood, but this idea turned out not to work, since my hood was too tight. So the first step was to get my hood split. I was actually able to get a local cosmetic surgeon to do it, which Julie and Marco thought was better in terms of safety. After this, we began designing how the clit shield would work. I didn't want something heavy and bulky, so we decided on a simple thimble like design that would go over my clit and be held in place by a piercing through the shaft of the clitoris.
Having my clit pierced was fun, not the painful experience I thought, but just a pinch. Clamping the guide in place for the piercing was actually more painful than the piercing itself. I was warned that in very rare cases, complications with nerves or blood supply could cause loss of sensation. In my case, this was not a problem! Quite happy with the piercing after several weeks of healing, taking extra care to heal properly before trying the thimble. The way my clit was pierced, it was quite deep to minimize any problem with migration.
Macro had designed a nice little thimble, almost like a little hollow bullet that had holes drilled through for the barbell. We were all pretty excited when it was finally put in place. Marco made sure to tighten the beads quite well so that I wouldn't be able to take them off. Visually, the effect was quite stunning. In between the remnants of my split hood, I now add a shiny little bullet sticking out where my clit used to be. I was still able to cum from indirect stimulation, and came quite hard that night indeed, mostly because of the eroticism of the whole event. It was obvious what the next step should be - I had to get matching bullets for my nipples. Macro fashioned some similar covers for my nipples, and now I was quite well protected. I used to cum maybe once a week, but now it was more difficult, it was sometimes more than a month between orgasms. I actually figured out how to give myself an orgasm at will, but without direct stimulation it takes quite a while, and I was much happier licking Julie's pussy instead and taking Marco's penis in my ass. Eventually, I also got my labia pierced together, with four large joined rings forming an effective chastity belt.
We were all quite happy with this situation, and went on to refine other aspects of my body, which was now bordering on being a true piece of art. I had already had my lips done some with permanent makeup some time ago, in deep red. Now, I had permanent eye-shadow applied, a beautiful turquoise to sand matte, as well as permanent eye-liner, exaggerated up past the eye, with little tribal swirls coming off. I actually did the design myself, and spent quite a few revisions and trials with body paint to make sure it worked well - I was going to be wearing it for quite some time! Needless to say, the effect is very exotic. When I apply glitter to it, it looks simply stunning. I am still looking for a way to get a more jeweled or glittery look that is practical and permanent.
When we went out to parties, I was quite a hit. It was quite apparent that I was destined for a career in art, or as art! At one party, I lay naked on the table, tied down with fur cuffs while people ate sushi off me. I got quite a few looks of amazement and shocked comments about my "bullets" as they had now come to be known. My corset was down to 21", which gave me a really flattering shape, and the bullets emphasized my breasts in just the right way. A couple of people played with the little bullet sticking out from between my locked labia, and many people teased me with light touches. After all the food was gone, Marco and Julie cleaned me off and gave me a sensual oil rubdown and some feather tickling. I was so aroused I couldn't stop shaking. One woman there asked me how I was able to cum with my pussy all locked up and my clit trapped inside the cover. When I told her I hadn't cum in four months, she had the most amazing look of desire and passion that I had ever seen. Although Marco and Julie rarely allowed me to be shared, Julie knew this woman, Helen, and I saw her give me the go ahead. She got on top of me, wearing only stockings, and I licked her to an incredible orgasm with everyone watching. After she came, she asked me if I wanted to cum too. When I told her no, she actually spontaneously ejaculated right then and there.
Afterwards, everyone at the party came by in a line to stroke me, as if to acknowledge my noble sacrifice. It was the most intense sexual experience of my life. I was so intensely aroused that when I came home, I could only quiver all night. It was at that moment that I knew I was destined to be a living artwork, a pleasure toy, living without orgasms, kept aroused for the pleasure of others. Unfortunately, I found this so deeply arousing that a few days later, I found myself playing with my clit bullet while Marco was fucking me from behind, and Julie watched as I brought myself to orgasm. They didn't think there was anything wrong with this, but I found myself deeply disappointed and upset. My tension and frustration were gone, and although having the orgasm was physically great, I missed the constant sense of urgency to my arousal that I had learned to crave. We all talked about this, and after some sincere and deep thoughts, decided to go forward with something a little more permanent.
Marco designed an improved bullet. The inside would be made from a mold of my erect clitoris, only reduced 30% in size. This was more than enough to ensure that my clit could never become fully engorged, but also left enough space for it to become teasingly aroused. We tried out a prototype, and the idea appeared to work - after two weeks of trying, I found no way to get an orgasm, but I did get quite frustrated and aroused! Having a vaginal orgasm is no longer a possibility for me, because of the placement of the rings in my labia, it is almost impossible to get any stimulation in the right spots.
The final design of the bullet was even more radical. The piercing shaft would be spring loaded, compressed, and would fit into recessed outlets on the inside of the bullet. The bullet would be made of high grade steel, and coated with Teflon. Once in place, there would be no way to remove it. Julie and Marco made me wait a month, just to make sure we were all going to be ok with it. This was the greatest fantasy I had ever realized, and I absolutely had to do it. At the end of the month, we had a special ceremony where the old bullet was removed. Julie wanted to know if I wanted to have one last orgasm, and she almost came right then when I told her she should have it instead. I licked her to an orgasm, and she played with my now free clit one last time before imprisoning it forever. Just before orgasm, we applied an ice pack to shrink it down, Marco threaded the spring barbell, compressed it, put the hood over the top. He slowly pushed it down, angled it properly, then pushed again. I think my heart stopped when I heard the little click of the barbell snapping into place.
This design has been quite effective, I have not had an orgasm since, despite plenty of trying by all parties, and lots of sexual activity. It was conceivable that I could still have a vaginal orgasm, but since then we have fixed my labial rings in place with solder and epoxy, eliminating that possibility as well. We decided to go the opposite route with my nipples, though - I now have removable nipple covers that allow the tips of my nipples to be stimulated if Marco or Julie wants that. They find it makes teasing me more fun. They are both very happy to have a permanently aroused and frustrated slave, as am I to be one. All of us are extremely happy with our decision.
I have since gone on to have a lot more work done on my tattoos. I found an overall theme for my piece - the life of a bound, kept, and teased pleasure slave. I now have little "epochs" for memorable events on both sides of my upper back, my butt, and a kanji tattoo for "sex toy" on my shoulder. I am still with Marco and Julie and enjoy sex with them almost every day and night. Our favorite thing to do is have me go down on Julie while Marco fucks my ass. They love to tease me and tie me up. I get all of my sexual pleasure now purely from submission and bondage, for me, orgasm is a thing of the past. We still go out to parties once in a while, and as always, I draw quite a crowd. I have become somewhat famous in the local underground seen, and although they never let anyone else fuck me, sometimes I am allowed to orally pleasure close female friends of ours, or to jack off our male friends.
My list of modifications now includes multiple piercings (multiple ear, nose), 35 % body coverage with tribal and S&M scene oriented tattoos, exotic and colorful facial tattooing, nipple covers with removable cap, a waist reduced to 19", unable to walk in heels below 5" high due to tendon shortening, permanent chastity rings in my labia, and a permanently installed cap on my clitoris that allows arousal but prevents orgasm. I am looking at getting metallic, crystal, or diamond sub-surface implants so I can get a glittery jeweled appearance around my eyes, but nothing so far has proved practical. Living as art is quite an amazing experience. Once, I was even exhibited in a local gallery for a week, shown bound in various positions that were changed each day, symbolizing my transformation into what I am now. Maybe someday I'll be coming to an exhibition near you!